Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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