The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
