I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
