Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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