Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
