New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we're making bets on your personal life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
