Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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