you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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