If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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