If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
