carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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