All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Panties = found
Randomize