After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
