Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.

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  (913): I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me. http://tfl.nu/mpf5
  Replies (5) Good night (968) Bad night (1801)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser

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  (954): all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser http://tfl.nu/xbi4
  Replies (17) Good night (4582) Bad night (1328)
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  (925): View more from California

  Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.

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  (925): Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend. http://tfl.nu/f39g
  Replies (35) Good night (3570) Bad night (1108)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.

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  (727): I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible. http://tfl.nu/n38l
  Replies (30) Good night (686) Bad night (6449)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard

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  (302): I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard http://tfl.nu/y6ds
  Replies (12) Good night (5039) Bad night (947)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are

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  (816): I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are http://tfl.nu/18r6
  Replies (4) Good night (1077) Bad night (1619)
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  (333): View more from

  im calling her cock vulture from now on

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  (333): im calling her cock vulture from now on http://tfl.nu/4dmx
  Replies (28) Good night (2806) Bad night (1441)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........

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  (207): Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010"......... http://tfl.nu/3k58
  Replies (7) Good night (768) Bad night (2650)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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  (507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now http://tfl.nu/xehl
  Replies (9) Good night (2916) Bad night (980)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.

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  (404): I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity. http://tfl.nu/w9sj
  Replies (12) Good night (1862) Bad night (550)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood

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  (931): there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood http://tfl.nu/qekx
  Replies (6) Good night (421) Bad night (2066)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned

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  (519): You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned http://tfl.nu/faec
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (365)
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  (310): View more from California

  If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.

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  (310): If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me. http://tfl.nu/jaom
  Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (293)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card

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  (631): Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card http://tfl.nu/dp25
  Replies (15) Good night (705) Bad night (351)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.

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  (207): I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable. http://tfl.nu/3t8y
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (214)

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