Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.

(513): View more from Ohio

I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.

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(207): saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow. (513): I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single. http://tfl.nu/mtqr

Replies (4) Good night (758) Bad night (1206)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.

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(202): Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around. http://tfl.nu/2wok

Replies (7) Good night (668) Bad night (1038)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.

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(586): I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/nhl8

Replies (14) Good night (2909) Bad night (1147)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...

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(814): You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum... http://tfl.nu/p3s1

Replies (20) Good night (7377) Bad night (2132)
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(850): View more from Florida

I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.

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(850): I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain. http://tfl.nu/8aml

Replies (12) Good night (5823) Bad night (1286)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait

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(614): I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait http://tfl.nu/idzg

Replies (16) Good night (2972) Bad night (1131)
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(937): View more from Ohio

All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

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(937): All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely http://tfl.nu/gogl

Replies (4) Good night (3184) Bad night (701)
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(631): View more from New York

I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.

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(631): I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship. http://tfl.nu/vmw8

Replies (17) Good night (2587) Bad night (1043)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win

(608): View more from Wisconsin

lets go back to having secrets in our friendship

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(651): raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win (608): lets go back to having secrets in our friendship http://tfl.nu/pq7s

Replies (6) Good night (3259) Bad night (851)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical

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(508): I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical http://tfl.nu/aogk

Replies (7) Good night (1441) Bad night (672)
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(678): View more from Georgia

You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.

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(678): You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk. http://tfl.nu/2vvu

Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (1414)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water

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(405): You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water http://tfl.nu/d1ur

Replies (5) Good night (1671) Bad night (739)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning

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(336): Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning http://tfl.nu/no2z

Replies (5) Good night (1570) Bad night (538)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.

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(832): The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats. http://tfl.nu/ohp9

Replies (2) Good night (1184) Bad night (341)
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(757): View more from Virginia

And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"

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(757): And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!" http://tfl.nu/qrns

Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (369)

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