four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
