I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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