So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
this is an emotional support booty call
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal