So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize