He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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