my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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