You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
