So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
