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she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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