...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
