and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
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Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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