Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
