I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
