In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize