Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
