using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
