listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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