This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
