Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
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grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
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My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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