So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
MIDGETS
????
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
