I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We don't watch enough power rangers
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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