He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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