Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
This is classic penis vs brain.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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