this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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