Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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