if you like me you must not know who I am
In the future we'll all be gay
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
