i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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