Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
