My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We have so much sex to catch up on
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
