the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
