I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
im holly from the hills drunk
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
