we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
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Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
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Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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