I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize