After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
