well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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