I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
be right there i have to get my cape
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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