She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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