i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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