dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
