He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
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I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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