the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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