i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I currently don't understand fingers.
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