i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
