And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
